By Deirdre Porter, Melbourne, Australia
Living what is my crazy, busy and chaotic life, every minute seems like it must be accounted for. I’m constantly checking lists off in my head, sending emails, texts or rushing to my next destination. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to divide my time or attention. No matter how many things I try to multi-task or do at once, there’s still not enough time in the day.
My life seems to be controlled by electronic notifications, jam-packed emails and text messages.
And this was BEFORE I had children! Nevertheless, God blessed me to be a mother of four boys.
The laid-back, take-my-time, stop and say “but why?” kind of kids.
When I need to be out the door, they take their time, deciding to wear the blue runners instead of the white ones they’re already wearing.
When I needed to be somewhere ten minutes ago, they insist on rummaging through the toy-box for the football.
When I needed to quickly re-fuel the car, they’d get out and help the old man in the car next to me struggling to release his petrol cap.
When I had 30 minutes to hang out the washing, they’d triumphantly appear with an armful of dirty clothes after I’d put the load on.
My carefree children were a gift to my Type A, task-driven personality but I couldn’t see it. Too busy looking ahead to what’s next on the agenda. And anything not on my list is a waste of time.
When the boys caused me to deviate from my carefully planned-out days, I’d think “we don’t have time for this.”
Consequently, the two words I said most often to my boisterous bundles of energy were “Hurry up.”
I soon realised I started my sentences with it. “Hurry up, we’re going to be late.” I ended sentences with it, “we’re going to miss out if you don’t hurry up.”
I started my day with it “hurry up and eat your breakfast, hurry up and get dressed” and I ended my day with it “hurry up and brush your teeth and get to bed.”
And although these words do little to increase my children’s speed, I said them too much. Even more so than the words “I love you.”
I’ve now decided to slow down and grasp what matters in life. And living at a slower pace still takes a concentrated effort.
The other day my five year-old reminded me. After making him an ice-cream cone and telling him we were going to grandma’s later, he sat down on the chair. A look of worry fell across his face as he said to me “do I have to rush mama?”
I wanted to cry, the scars of a hurried life all too evident, never to disappear. “You don’t have to rush, take your time” I told him as I cupped his precious face in my hands.
Whether it is changing shoes, finding footballs or helping old people, I’ll never again say “hurry up we don’t have the time.”
Deirdre Porter.
Because that is saying that we don’t have time to live. So turn off your devices, close your computer and put down your phone.
Disconnect to connect and unplug yourselves from the digital distractions that are stealing your precious time from your children.
Stop and delight in the simple, basic joys of life. Hug your children, hold them close. Talk less, listen more and laugh often.
Deirdre Porter is a freelance feature writer based in Melbourne, Australia, who has worked in corporate communications as a professional writer and magazine editor. She now writes freelance feature articles, blogs and has been published in a range of national newspapers, magazines and online.
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